I guess this explains my huge usage of downers, which makes sense since I have bipolar 1 which is characterized by more mania than depression, so I usually need to calm down. It just sucks though, because I haven’t found anything that helps me concentrate and fight off hunger. I’ve concluded all ADHD meds are out and heighten my anxiety. When I was in the hospital, they put me on something that, at least for a few days, helped me concentrate, speak publicly and have me euphoric feelings and it was perfect. After a few days though, anger/irritation set in, though I was on three medications at the time so it’s hard to say what was helping and what wasn’t. I just really want my focus back. It’s so hard being so interested in science and reading but just having no ability to concentrate long enough to do anything with it. I’ve been struggling with this for years. Please, please, please let me find something by the fall. I really want to kick ass next semester.
Jaw clenching, muscle tightness, jittery, can’t sleep. Ughh. And I only took a 15mg dose of vyvanse and that was over 12 hours ago.
What. The. Fuck.
(Source: speculativevision, via lunacidic)
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. — Oscar Wilde (via thatkindofwoman)
(Source: thewinterwind, via njsavestheday)
(Source: niemoralnie, via fluxthepolice)
(Source: youaintnofamily, via fluxthepolice)
To get really high is to forget yourself. And to forget yourself is to see everything else. And to see everything else is to become an understanding molecule in evolution, a conscious tool of the universe. — Jerry Garcia (via wistfullyyours)
Borred. Drinking. Everyone’s watching the bruins.